Category Archives: ACOA

Don’t live in fear

All I’m concerned about is job satisfaction. I hear this at least once a week from a co-worker, who like me, is coming to grips with the thought of retirement. The more he talks about it, the easier it is for me to see how he is going through the stages of grief.

Since the very first day that I worked with him, over six years ago, all I heard about was how horrible of a job it was and the only reason he was there was because he was made redundant. That job, naturally, was the best job he ever had. He finds comfort in the mundane, he finds peace in routine, and he feels at home when he can talk to anyone and everyone and get away with it under the guise of work.

The Power of 10

I slept with a six pack of beer on the nightstand next to my bed. I had a a can of beer and a cup of coffee for breakfast and had a six pack of beer on my ride to work, which was only six miles from my home. At lunch time, I’d drive those six miles back home, consume some more beer, then have a couple more beers for lunch, then drive back to work drinking some more.

A Beautiful Gift… An Apology

As the end of another year, in this realm of existence approaches, it is getting easier to separate the delusional from reality. Through my whole life all I ever wanted was an acknowledgement that I lived through an abusive, destructive, and terror filled childhood.

Dreams of a Haunted House

Early in my sobriety I did a lot of self-analysing of my life. I spent loads of time looking at my dreams. They always seemed to have messages for me if I spent the time to try and listen to them. I’d go to sleep with a pad and pencil on my nightstand and when I awoke from a dream, I’d write down the highlights of what I had just experienced in my sleep.

10 Minutes Has Led To 27 Years

On September 4, 1994, I had placed myself on a crossroad between life and death. I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic but it was the truth at that time and remains the truth today. Though I had full-time employment, I owned a house, a couple of cars, and all the luxuries afforded to meContinue reading “10 Minutes Has Led To 27 Years”

A Story About Humility

As an alcoholic, I have spent my time in recovery learning. I never want to get to a point where I believe I know it all. How arrogant that would be. Former Czech President Vaclav Havel once said, “Seek those that search for the truth and run from those that have found it.” We all need to be teachable. We all need a sense of humility.

Money is a tool

Recently in an e-mail, I was asked how do I do it? What a loaded question! It was asked about my spending habits and how can I live so cheaply. How can anyone answer a question like that in one e-mail? The whole history of how I learned to live the way I do didn’tContinue reading “Money is a tool”

The Secrets Told

Recently, I purchased the book written by Mary Trump, which is a first hand account about growing up in the Trump family. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a fan of Donald Trump, yet I did not buy the book looking for slams against the American President. My opinion of himContinue reading “The Secrets Told”

Best Father’s Day Gift? No Gift

Just got done with Father’s Day and have been left with mixed feelings. Throughout my life I have one biological child – a son. A child I never really met. At the time, I had no use for the mom, except for one thing. That one thing produced that child. I was an active abusiveContinue reading “Best Father’s Day Gift? No Gift”